My Ex is Harassing Me Online: What Legal Options Do I Have in San Diego Beyond a DVRO

The end of a relationship should mark the beginning of peace. But for many in San Diego, that peace is short-lived—especially when the harassment shifts to the digital world. Whether it’s threatening texts, reputation-smearing posts, or social media surveillance, online harassment by an ex is one of the fastest-growing forms of post-breakup abuse.

If your situation doesn’t meet the legal requirements for a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO), you may feel trapped. Fortunately, California law offers other powerful tools to protect yourself—especially through the Civil Harassment Restraining Order (CHRO).

This guide will walk you through how California law handles online abuse, when a DVRO applies, how to get protection with a CHRO, and what steps to take immediately to regain your safety and peace of mind.

When Online Abuse Becomes Legal Harassment

Let’s start with a common example:

Alex and Morgan dated for four months before breaking up. Since the breakup, Alex has flooded Morgan with unwanted texts, tagged them in fake Instagram posts, shared private photos without consent, and created burner accounts to monitor and insult them online.

Morgan now feels unsafe, anxious, and afraid to leave home. But because Alex and Morgan never lived together, were not married, and have no children, a traditional DVRO may not apply.

So, is Morgan out of options? Absolutely not. This is where a Civil Harassment Restraining Order becomes the legal lifeline.

Cyberstalking and Digital Harassment: How California Law Defines It

Under California law, online harassment and cyberstalking are serious offenses that carry both civil and criminal consequences. Even when the abuse isn’t physical, the emotional and reputational harm can be just as severe.

Cyberstalking or Online Harassment May Include:

• Repeated unwanted messages, emails, or DMs

• Posting embarrassing or false information (defamation)

• Impersonation or creating fake accounts

• “Doxxing”—publicizing someone’s private information

• Sharing private photos or texts without consent

• Monitoring someone’s social media activity obsessively

• Circumventing blocks with new accounts or phone numbers

Under California Penal Code § 646.9, stalking includes any behavior that causes the victim to feel threatened, harassed, or fearful. For civil protective orders, harassment is defined more broadly—repeated unwanted conduct that causes substantial emotional distress and serves no legitimate purpose.

The Limits of DVROs in Online Abuse Cases

A Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) offers robust protection, including:

• Stay-away orders

• No-contact directives

• Firearm restrictions

• Child custody and support modifications

However, eligibility for a DVRO depends on the relationship between the parties.

To Qualify for a DVRO, the Abuser Must Be:

• A current or former spouse

• A current or former cohabitant

• A co-parent of your child

• Someone you’ve dated intimately

• A close family member (parent, sibling, etc.)

If the person harassing you was only a casual dating partner, a friend, coworker, neighbor, or classmate—you may be ineligible for a DVRO.

That’s where a Civil Harassment Restraining Order becomes the best path forward.

Civil Harassment Restraining Orders (CHROs): Powerful Protection in Non-Domestic Cases

A CHRO is a civil court order that protects victims from abuse, threats, stalking, or harassment by individuals outside the domestic violence relationship category.

This includes:

• Ex-dating partners who never lived with you

• Roommates

• Former friends

• Coworkers

• Neighbors

• Acquaintances or strangers

A CHRO Can Order:

• No contact via phone, email, social media, or in person

• No online impersonation, threats, or digital tracking

• Stay-away requirements from your home, workplace, school, or child’s school

• Prohibition from owning or purchasing firearms

Unlike DVROs, CHROs focus on patterned harassment rather than physical abuse or domestic ties. They are frequently granted in online abuse and cyberstalking cases.

Key Differences Between a DVRO and CHRO in California

How to Qualify for a CHRO in San Diego

To obtain a CHRO, you must prove that:

1. The other party engaged in harassment

   • This includes stalking, threatening, annoying contact, or digital abuse.

2. The behavior is repeated and willful

   • A one-time contact won’t typically qualify unless it’s extremely threatening.

3. The behavior caused substantial emotional distress

   • Evidence of anxiety, disruption of your daily life, or documented fear strengthens your case.

4. There is no legitimate purpose

   • The person is not contacting you for necessary business or legal matters.

Judges in San Diego take CHRO petitions seriously, especially when victims provide organized documentation of the harassment and its impact.

What Evidence You Need to Build a Strong Case

Your CHRO case will rise or fall based on your ability to show a clear, repeated pattern of harassment. Start gathering and organizing evidence immediately.

Recommended Evidence:

• Screenshots of harassing texts, emails, or DMs

• Screenshots or links to social media posts or fake accounts

• Logs or spreadsheets of harassment dates/times

• Police reports or incident numbers (if applicable)

• Statements from witnesses, co-workers, or mental health professionals

• Medical records or therapist notes showing stress or anxiety

At Minella Law Group, we help clients assemble comprehensive evidence packets that make an impact in court.

Immediate Safety and Digital Steps to Protect Yourself

Even before the court intervenes, you can take key steps to regain control and secure your digital presence.

1. Block and Report
   1. Immediately block your harasser on all platforms. Use built-in reporting tools on Instagram, Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, and email services.
2. Change Passwords and Enable 2FA
   1. Ensure all personal and financial accounts use new passwords and two-factor authentication.
3. Secure Your Devices
   1. Scan for spyware or keyloggers if you suspect hacking. Update privacy settings on your smartphone, laptop, and smart home devices.
4. Don’t Engage
   1. Resist the urge to respond. Your silence protects your case and prevents escalation.
5. Start a Harassment Log
   1. Create a written or digital log with:

• • • Date/time of incident

    • What happened

    • How it made you feel or what it interrupted

    • Any supporting evidence

How the Court Process Works for CHROs

Step 1: File for a Temporary CHRO

• Submit a Request for Civil Harassment Restraining Order (CH-100) and supporting declarations
• Request a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO)—many are granted the same day

Step 2: Serve the Harasser

• You must have the other party formally served by someone over 18 (not you)
• Law enforcement or a registered process server can assist

Step 3: Prepare for the Hearing

• A court hearing will be scheduled within 21–25 days
• You’ll present your evidence and testimony
• The judge may ask questions or allow cross-examination

Step 4: Final Order

• If granted, the restraining order lasts up to five years
• The person will be entered into CLETS (California Law Enforcement Telecommunication System)
• Violations can lead to arrest and criminal penalties

Our team at Minella Law Group represents you throughout this process—filing, presenting evidence, and advocating in court.

When to Call a Lawyer—and Why It Matters

If you’re experiencing online harassment from an ex or anyone not covered by DVRO eligibility, time is critical. Don’t wait until the behavior escalates or your mental health deteriorates.

• A Restraining Order Attorney Can:
• Help you choose the right type of protection (DVRO vs. CHRO)
• Draft powerful declarations and supporting evidence
• Appear in court and argue for your protection
• Prevent dismissal based on insufficient or disorganized claims
• Handle service, evidence collection, and any needed follow-up motions

At Minella Law Group, we understand the unique emotional toll of online harassment—and we take it seriously. You deserve peace, privacy, and legal protection.

Why Minella Law Group Is the Right Firm for Online Harassment Cases

We have decades of experience helping victims of stalking, harassment, and abuse obtain meaningful court protection—especially in complex, non-domestic scenarios.

We’ve helped clients:

• Shut down fake social media impersonation
• Protect careers from online reputation attacks
• Shield children and family from exposure to harassment
• Navigate law enforcement involvement
• Secure multi-year CHROs with court enforcement

You don’t have to fight this alone. Our attorneys blend legal skill with compassion and confidentiality—ensuring your safety and dignity are never compromised.

••Get the Protection You Deserve Today••

Online harassment isn’t just annoying—it’s dangerous, traumatizing, and often illegal. Whether or not you qualify for a DVRO, California law provides tools to protect you.

At Minella Law Group, we’re ready to:

• File for a Civil Harassment Restraining Order
• Build your case with compelling evidence
• Represent you in court
• Protect your peace, reputation, and safety

📞 Call Minella Law Group today at 619-289-7948 to schedule a confidential consultation with one of our family law specialists. We’ll listen to your concerns, assess the situation, and create a clear strategy tailored to your goals.

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