How DVROs Can Secure Safety and Legal Custody for Survivors and Their Children
In California family law, few tools are more powerful—or more urgent—than a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO). When one parent has been subjected to abuse or threats of harm, a DVRO can provide immediate protection while also shaping the long-term outcome of a custody case. These orders are not only about personal safety—they are often the key to preserving parental rights, securing legal and physical custody, and breaking the cycle of trauma for children.
Many parents facing domestic violence worry about how to protect themselves and their children without escalating the conflict or risking retaliation. Others may be unsure whether their experiences “count” as abuse under the law. California’s family courts take domestic violence seriously—and when used correctly, a DVRO can help you build a strong foundation for custody and co-parenting decisions rooted in safety and stability.
This article explains what a Domestic Violence Restraining Order is, who can get one, how it affects custody, and what parents need to know when seeking or responding to one in family court.
What Is a Domestic Violence Restraining Order?
A DVRO is a court order that protects a person from abuse, threats, harassment, or violence by someone they have a close relationship with—such as a spouse, partner, co-parent, or family member. It can be requested as part of a family law case (like a divorce or custody action) or on its own.
California defines “domestic violence” broadly under the Domestic Violence Prevention Act (DVPA). Abuse includes:
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Physical violence or attempts to harm
- Sexual assault
- Threats of violence
- Emotional abuse or coercive control
- Harassment or stalking
- Destruction of personal property
- Disturbing the peace of the protected party
Importantly, disturbing the peace includes patterns of controlling, intimidating, or isolating behavior—even when no physical violence is present. This broad definition ensures survivors are not excluded simply because they didn’t report bruises or broken bones.
Who Can File for a DVRO?
You can seek a DVRO if the person you are seeking protection from is:
- Your spouse or former spouse
- Someone you live with or used to live with
- Someone you have dated or had a romantic relationship with
- A co-parent (even if never married)
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A close family member (like a sibling, in-law, or parent)
You can also request a DVRO on behalf of your children if they are being directly abused or exposed to abuse in the home.
What Does a DVRO Do?
A Domestic Violence Restraining Order can include a wide range of protections, such as:
- Stay-away orders (requiring the restrained person to stay a set distance away from you, your children, your home, your workplace, and their school)
- No-contact orders (prohibiting calls, texts, emails, or other forms of communication)
- Exclusive use of the family home (forcing the abuser to move out)
- Custody and visitation orders
- Firearm restrictions
- Child support or spousal support orders
- Orders to attend batterer’s intervention or counseling
DVROs can last for up to five years, and may be renewed permanently. A temporary restraining order (TRO) is often granted first, usually without a full hearing, and is later followed by a more formal evidentiary hearing where both sides can present evidence.
How Does a DVRO Affect Custody?
This is where the impact of a DVRO becomes especially significant. California Family Code §3044 creates a rebuttable presumption that a parent who has committed domestic violence should not have sole or joint custody of their child.
In practical terms, if you obtain a DVRO against your child’s other parent, the court will assume they are not fit to share custody unless they can prove otherwise. The court must prioritize the safety of the child and the protective parent over shared parenting arrangements.
This legal presumption shifts the burden onto the restrained parent, who must demonstrate:
- They have completed a batterer’s intervention program (if applicable)
- They are not a risk to the child or co-parent
- Shared custody is in the best interest of the child
- They have complied with the order and demonstrated change
Until then, the court may limit them to supervised visitation, no visitation, or restricted parenting time. In some cases, visitation may be suspended altogether.
Can You File for Custody and a DVRO Together?
Yes. In fact, it is often strategically advisable to do so. When you file a DVRO request, you can also ask for temporary child custody orders and exclusive control of the home. These requests are often granted on an emergency basis pending the full hearing.
By combining your custody request with your restraining order, you can:
- Prevent your abuser from removing the child
- Create immediate structure and predictability for the child
- Establish yourself as the primary parent early in the case
- Set the tone for later custody evaluations or mediations
California law empowers the court to make temporary custody orders as part of the DVRO process, and these orders can later become permanent in the final custody judgment.
What Evidence Do You Need?
To obtain a DVRO, you must show that abuse occurred—not just that you were uncomfortable or stressed. Evidence may include:
- Text messages or emails showing threats, control, or harassment
- Police reports or 911 calls
- Medical records
- Witness declarations
- Photos of injuries or property damage
- Testimony from therapists, teachers, or family members
- Journal entries or logs documenting the abuse
- Evidence of your child witnessing or reacting to the abuse
If the abuse occurred in front of your children or negatively impacted their well-being, that is especially relevant. Courts are increasingly aware of how domestic violence harms children, even if they are not directly targeted.
What Happens at the DVRO Hearing?
After the temporary order is granted, a formal evidentiary hearing is scheduled—usually within 21 days. Both parties can:
- Present witnesses
- Submit exhibits
- Cross-examine the other party
- Testify under oath
This hearing functions like a mini-trial. The judge will decide whether to issue a permanent restraining order (typically lasting 1 to 5 years) and whether to grant or modify custody and visitation orders accordingly.
If the restrained party fails to appear, the court can proceed without them.
Can a DVRO Be Used Defensively?
Yes. In some high-conflict divorces, both parties may file competing DVROs. Sometimes, the alleged abuser attempts to “get ahead” by filing first. Other times, the accused parent may feel the allegations are exaggerated or false.
In these situations, courts are careful to evaluate:
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Who initiated contact
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Whether there is a genuine threat of harm
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Whether the allegations are supported by credible evidence
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Whether the protective order is being used as a litigation weapon
If you’ve been served with a DVRO that you believe is unjustified, you need immediate legal representation to protect your rights and defend your parental relationship.
What If the Court Denies the DVRO?
Even if your request is denied, the act of filing may provide documentation of concerns, a paper trail of attempts to establish safety, and evidence of prior conflict. You may still be able to pursue:
- Custody modifications
- Supervised visitation for the other parent
- Orders for counseling or parenting classes
- Protective provisions in a custody judgment (e.g., non-disparagement clauses, no-alcohol conditions, third-party exchanges)
In some cases, if the DVRO is denied, the judge may still order Family Court Services mediation, a 730 evaluation, or other assessments to resolve ongoing concerns.
Final Thoughts
Domestic violence and custody are deeply intertwined in California family law. A well-documented, lawfully obtained Domestic Violence Restraining Order can do more than protect your physical safety—it can help secure legal and physical custody, provide stability for your children, and give you a strong foundation as you navigate divorce or co-parenting.
That said, the process is not simple, and it can be emotionally and legally complex. Filing for a DVRO—especially alongside a custody request—requires preparation, clarity, and legal strategy.
At Minella Law Group, we help survivors of abuse protect themselves and their children with skill, compassion, and precision. Whether you’re seeking protection or defending against false claims, we understand the nuances of these cases and the lasting impact they have on families.
If You Need Protection, Don’t Wait. We’re Here to Help.
If you’re in danger or concerned about your child’s safety, a Domestic Violence Restraining Order may be the first step toward reclaiming control and securing custody.
📞 Call Minella Law Group today at 619-289-7948 to schedule a confidential consultation with one of our family law specialists. We’ll listen to your concerns, assess the situation, and create a clear strategy tailored to your goals.
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We’ll help you protect what matters most—your safety, your children, and your future.
