Divorces involving children can get very complicated. Each parent has ideas of what is best for your child. There are so many factors that will need to be considered for your children.
In the best of situations parents work together to decide a parenting plan that is in the best interest of the child or children. Most parents truly only want what is best but often the pain of divorce can blind parents, causing strife and disagreement.
If this happens, the children can get dragged in and will be affected by the divorce.
Here are some things to bear in mind in this scenario:
My Spouse Brought the Children Into the Divorce Proceeding
There are times one or both spouses will attempt to use the children as leverage in the divorce. Maybe one spouse is so angry or hurt that the children are pulled into the divorce process as a way to hurt the other spouse and get the children on their particular side.
This is extremely unfair to the children. There are steps you can take when this happens to protect your child. First and foremost you want your child to be safe. In divorce involving children where a child has been dragged into the middle you will need to take steps to help yourself and your children.
5 Steps to Take to Protect Your Children While a Divorce Involving Children is Proceeding
- First all parents will be required attend a meeting with a with a court appointed counselor who has been trained to help establish a parenting plan and custody arrangements.
- Second if there are any concerns about the health and safety of your child you will need to ask for help to protect your child and take steps do so.
- Third reassure your children that you love them, that both and your spouse love them. Let your children know that you are not asking them to choose sides and that this is not their fault.
- Fourth if your spouse is causing psychological damage by dragging your children into the divorce, alert your lawyer so that she/he can help take steps to minimize the damage and seek legal protections for your children.
- Fifth it may be necessary to have your child go to therapy with a qualified specialist to help them understand that the divorce is not their fault and they are in no way to blame. Continue to reassure your child that both spouses love them and do not pressure your child to feel any certain way about the divorce
Children and the Divorce Process
Parents who attend parenting sessions with the court appointed counselor will be working towards setting up the future care and support of your children.
It is important to attempt to let go of personal feelings about your spouse and focus on what is best for your children. If parents are unable to agree or if there are factors that could be endangering your child the legal system can step in. There are times that a judge will have either your whole family or your children go through a psychological exam to help determine the best custody arrangement.
Ultimately the judge is going to decide the custody arrangement for the divorce when parents can not agree. The judge can use a number of factors in making the determination. Overall if a spouse brings your children into the divorce it is up to you to protect them.
This is why divorces involving children benefit from the help of a good lawyer. The lawyer knows the law and will work to make sure your children are protected as you go through the divorce process and even afterwards if needed. Your children should be your first priority during your divorce!
In Summary
If you feel your children are being harmed by the divorce process or if you feel an agreement cannot be reached on custody, consider hiring an experienced family law attorney. They will work with you to find a solution that is in the best interest of your children.
Minella Law Group can help you with your divorce and child custody case. For more information or to schedule an appointment, call us at (619) 289-7948. We look forward to helping you.
