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Should You Live With The Person You’re Divorcing?

Probably due to economics you and your soon to be ex are cohabiting until the divorce finalizes. Living with your spouse during a divorce is not a normal situation, and it’s not a marriage, nor is it a roommate situation. It is complicated.

These waters require legal council. Rarely can a married couple live together while divorcing. If they do it is due to financial reasons.


When the marriage vows and contracts fail, there is a great deal that needs to be worked out.  Trying to deal with it between you and your spouse won’t work when you can’t keep the marriage contract, how will the two of you work out anything as roommates?

First Things First

Figure out a budget.  One of you if not both, are going to be moving. Financially things need to be figured out, and this is not the divorce settlement, although some of the marriage baggage may transfer into the situation if there is distrust in the area of finance. There is no reason you can’t work through a short term financial arrangement.

Suspicion of each other won’t work if you need to live together until the dissolution of the marriage and separation of goods and lives.  If there are similar incomes, then consider an equal split.


Whatever made the marriage fail does not mean you can’t work through separation while cohabiting. If there are children involved, you need to work through parental issues.  If the raising of children was part of the problem in the marriage, it won’t change in divorce.

Work through each having equal and quality time with the children.


Living with your spouse while divorcing requires giving each other space. You’re not a couple, and may, in fact, have moved on with someone else. Letting go and giving the other person space is only logical, and while it is not the best idea to bring a new romantic interest home, it could happen. You may need the same space.

Be willing to work through privacy issues and it is a two-way space, and do it before it happens. Plan, and make sure you are not harboring hopes of getting back together with your soon to be ex-spouse.

Bottom Line

If you can’t work through finances, trust, and parental issues, then you can’t stay under the same roof.  The good news is, you’re not unusual.  Most people can’t live with a spouse when they are on the road to divorce. When things go wrong in a marriage, two people don’t trust each other. Living together while going through a divorce is never recommended.

That is the hardest road to take. If there is an abuser in the relationship, this can’t be an option no matter the financial hardship. Carefully consider the possibilities, and make the best choice for you and your children.


Look to legal council for solid advice as to your alternatives. Call upon financial advisors for options. Don’t give up, and don’t be discouraged. There are always viable solutions.

The experienced attorneys at Minella Law Group can guide you through the process to finalize your divorce efficiently allowing you to move forward in your life. For more information or to schedule a consultation or call us at 619-289-7948.