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Should I get a divorce — This question is a very important one to answer.

It is certainly not an easy question  and one that no one can answer for you. The decision to divorce will start a very trying time in your life as divorce will affect all areas of your life, including children, if they are present.

Struggling with the decision of divorce?

Divorce happens for many reasons. For each divorce, there are perhaps specific reasons that are unique to the parties involved.

It comes down to should you stay or should you go?

No matter the decision, it will involve emotions such as anger, grief, frustration, and worry.

Are You In An Unhealthy Relationship?

Much does depend on the reason for wanting to leave and start a new life. Some situations make it easier to make the decision:

  • Physical abuse/violence.
  • Drug or alcohol abuse where the spouse refuses to get help.
  • Unfaithfulness/chronic cheater.

No one should be in a relationship that threatens their life and the lives of their children. In these cases, the choice seems obvious and apparent, but even then, thought needs to be applied to how to proceed and what it entails.

How to Answer the Question Should I Get a Divorce?

Whether or not to divorce can be answered just like any decision a person needs to make. There are always pros and cons to a situation. Sitting down quietly and calmly and making a list of them is a way to take your time and see the answer clearly and logically.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Are you prepared for the emotional and financial changes that divorce will bring?
  2. Will you be better off without your spouse? If so, why?
  3. Have you done everything you can to resolve the difficulties?
  4. Has your spouse tried to work it out also?
  5. Is your spouse unwilling to discuss and work towards a resolution?
  6. Would you want your children or loved ones in the same type of marriage?
  7. Does your spouse also want a divorce? If so, why?
  8. If you do decide to divorce, will your spouse fight it?

This is the time to be honest with yourself and impartial. Divorce isn’t easy for anyone. Even if both parties agree to it, there is also the property settlement, financial agreements, and custody of children to be determined. You’ll need excellent legal representation to protect yourself and to advise you every step of the way. You will need to be prepared to compromise as no one gets exactly what they want.

Uneasy Feelings Are Natural

Often times, once the divorce proceedings have started, you’ll deal with emotions such as feeling bitter, regret or jealousy. These are normal and will soon pass as long as you know, in your heart, that you made the right decision.

Talking it over or getting the counsel of someone who is impartial can be beneficial. Your friends and family can be a great sounding board, but they are rarely unbiased. You may love that quality about them, but when considering a divorce, it is best to seek the help of someone who can help you look at and evaluate both sides of the problem. It’s important that you have as much information before proceeding.

Whatever decision you make, be sure it is the right one for you in the long run. Hastily making a decision to end a marriage in a moment of anger or hurt is something you may regret later on. Take time to calm down, discuss it with your spouse, and see if the problem can be worked out.  If not, then be certain that divorce is the best decision for you before proceeding.


Attorneys at Minella Law Group are here to help and have your best interest at heart.  For more information or to schedule a consultation, click the button below, or call us at 619-289-7948.  We look forward to helping.

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